I’ve had a conversation along this flow about thirty times now:
“Wow, you live in Italy? That’s so cool. I’ve always wanted to live there!”
“Oh, yeah. Why don’t you? You can do it, too"*
“Well, I have a house, dogs, a car, my parents.. y’know. But maybe someday!”
“Yeah, I get it!”
My house, my car, my animals (who came with me). The problem is I don’t get it. What’s wrong with me?
I come from a one stop light town where most people stay, have children, raise their children, those children have children, and so forth. Teachers know your parents and even your grand parents. My grandparents and even my parents attended schools that were less than 10 minutes from each other. If you leave Mercer Country, Pennsylvania, then you’re in a slim minority of people. There’s obvious advantages to staying near family when you are creating a family, and a safety net in living with or near your parents. So why do some people leave, and why do some people go really far?
I asked my sister and she chalked it up to our parents, specifically my father - who in his early twenties escaped Mercer County to live in Arizona. It was there he stayed with my mother until my sister was born and it was more convenient to live closer to family. My father would say it was ultimately not more convenient, it was a lot more trouble - but at least my sister and I got the “traditional” experience.
My sister eventually followed in my father’s footsteps and escaped to Arizona at the age of 18. It wasn’t too long after he and I followed in tow. I believe the feeling of moving is similar to that feeling when standing at a swimming pool, early in the morning.
Standing at the pool’s edge the discomfort of how cold the water could can freeze you solid. But then you jump in. It is that jump that is the most important step, because everything that comes after you can handle. Maybe you dance around, maybe you let out a scream, or maybe you’ll be fine. Hell, maybe you even like it.
This move from Pennsylvania to Arizona was my first, of what would be many, jumps. My next jump would be four years later. My father would make a breakfast burrito and lunch as I drove from Arizona to Texas, moving on my own with $500, a mini cooper, and an apartment I found on Craigslist. After Texas, Colorado - where my ex and I sold our home to move to another rental. Then for me, Europe.
It is easy for me to get stuck in missing people, experiences, and things from every place I have left. But I have worked on turning it into gratitude - how cool is it I get to miss people and places from around the world?
It’s not only my family of jumpers, but other jumpers I have picked up along the way. These people I am lucky to call friends. A friend who lent me the $500 to move to Austin, Texas. My ex who told us we were not going to pay taxes to Greg Abbott’s anti-abortion bullshit. These few people cheering me on I must amplify in my head, and they are the most impactful people in my live as they’ve helped me be who I want to be.
Kristina, Koes, Meg, Dad and Sam are some of my biggest cheerleaders. We all need people telling us to jump.
These people are a small minority of the people in my life. A majority of people are against jumping. They have their own worries and fears for you, which they express. This is because they care, they want you safe, and that’s understandable. However, this can easily discourage someone from doing something amazing, because it amplifies the anxieties they already have in their head.
How did my dad start jumping? He often recalls how against my grandfather (his father) was against his leaving, and he is the only one of three brothers and one sister to leave Mercer County. Even though my grandfather was against moving, my great grandfather (my father’s grandfather) was a jumper. The American immigrants in my family’s history aren’t too far apart from me. I’m lucky their their experiences and stories haven’t been lost, and have been inspiring future generations to continue to jump.
I’ll keep trying to inspire others to jump too - sometimes it only takes one person lending you some money to get you going.
So when I go to the doctor’s office, and I’m checking the boxes for pre-existing conditions..
rheumatoid arthritis, anxiety, adhd, depression, big whiny girl disease…
I’ll have to find one that suits this genetic abnormality we seem to have.
* You cannot just move, you need to research visas, apply, be lucky enough to have a job that is in demand - however for me it isn’t as difficult as I thought it would be.